jokes

The difference between sex, super sex and love...good one...
 
Girl asks her mother: What is sex?
 
Mother: Sex is when you stop a car driven by a man who offers you a meal in a restaurant, and then you  spend some time with him in the hotel room, sleep with him once, and then each one go on his way and you have a hundred dollars bill extra in your pocket.
 
Then the girl asks her mother: What is Super Sex?
 
Mother: Super sex is when you stop a limousine driven by Chauffeur and a stylish man is sitting in the back who takes you to a luxurious villa, gives you a sumptuous meal with distinctive Caviar...and then you spend the night together in bed and engage in sex more than once, and then you part with an envelope containing a thousand dollars in your pocket.
 
And then the girl asks her mother: What is love?
 
Mother: Love is a lie invented by men so that they can have sex with you for free.

The Lie Detector

 

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John...

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,"� said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, T'ommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied, we really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son,� said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."

The robot walked around to John and knocked him out of his chair...

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one, you can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.